Happy New Year, readers! Thank you for joining me as we begin this new chapter. Iâm glad youâre here. The New Year can be both exciting and daunting. It can feel like a fresh start and an opportunity for growth and change. But, at the same time, there can also be immense pressure to set resolutions to âbetter ourselvesâ and make significant changes to our lives. I find the problem with resolutions is that we set goals that are short-term or incredibly hard to achieve. We feel that this change needs to happen immediately for us to succeed and be happy. In reality, the changes and growth we seek cannot happen overnight, and theyâre certainly not something that is âone and doneâ within the first month of the New Year- this should be something we continuously work on year-round! So, today I want to talk about shifting our mindset from resolution to evolution so that you can make lasting, lifelong, and worthwhile changes in different aspects of your life to be the best version of yourself 365 days of the year.
Do you have trouble speaking up and expressing yourself? Do you find yourself at times shying away from conflict? Do you tend to agree with others or say âyesâ to things to please them, even if it means sacrificing your wants and needs? If you answered âyesâ to any of the above, you likely struggle with assertiveness! Unfortunately, I think assertiveness tends to be perceived with a negative lens. I sometimes believe assertive and aggressive behaviours are mistaken for each other, which causes us to shy away from this. In reality, these two communication styles are very different (and I will cover that today!) As we enter the holiday season, your ability to be assertive might be more difficult than usual. With the hustle and bustle of the holidays, you might lose sight of your own needs and shy away from conflict for the sake of others- especially if youâre surrounded by family and friends. For some people, the holidays are a time of immense joy, and happiness; but for others, it can be a time of stress, loneliness, and sadness. For example, you might be anxious or stressed by the thought of dealing with comments from family members/friends about your weight, your relationship status, or how little/how much you eat at holiday gatherings. The good thing is, assertiveness is a skill that can be learned, and you donât need to sit through or accept uncomfortable comments or situations that come your way this holiday season. There is a way to be effectively assertive whilst also being gracious and having self-respect! My goal today is to shed some light on what assertiveness is (and what it isnât) and to give you the tools you need to develop and strengthen this skill so that you can navigate different experiences and potential challenges this holiday season!
When you think about the holiday season, what is the first feeling that comes to mind? Joy? Sadness? Stress? Loneliness? Togetherness? Peace? All of the above?! The truth is, the holidays can bring up many mixed emotions for us. Regardless of your age, race, culture, what you celebrate (if anything), and who you celebrate with, this time of year's general hustle and bustle environment can be incredibly overwhelming. The holiday season in particular can be rife with outdated traditions, long lines at the mall, crowded airports, loud parties, and travel delays that can add up to one word: havoc. As we approach the end of the year, this period is also a reminder that new beginnings are on the horizon- which can be both exciting and daunting. So, today we want to focus on slowing down amidst the holiday hustle and bustle, challenging and changing outdated traditions, and through this, finding your heavenly peace.
From a pretty young age, Iâve believed knowledge is power. A big part of how this belief formed for me was through lived experiences that showed me how education can be my ticket out from the circumstances I was born into. Itâs simple: what you know can drive your life decisions - from the smallest of moments to the biggest ones. If youâre anything like me, you may be craving to curl up with a good book this holiday season. Good reads can be inspiring and life changing. They help you gain perspective, renew your hope, and motivate you to take steps to improve your life, your health, and your relationships. Here are my favorite books and authors from 2022 that have both lit me up and challenged me.
Recently, I worked through an early childhood traumatic experience that involved gift-giving. For the longest time, I couldnât pinpoint why receiving gifts from my mother throughout my life felt off. Through my personal EMDR therapy, I realized that my response to gift-giving had been ingrained in me as a trauma response. In the absence of emotional availability during a traumatic time in her life, my mom leaned into gift-giving in lieu of her emotional availability. I was processing this unmet need when this new insight about receiving gifts from her surfaced. I realized why it had always bothered me. It felt like buying my affection, and as a result, felt as if I owed something back. Since processing this experience with EMDR, I had a deeper understanding into the reasons behind it. I finally knew exactly WHY. Gift-giving can feel good. But sometimes, itâs a trauma response. When this happens, it takes away from how meaningful a gift can be and all the feel-good benefits that come with it. This season, weâre looking into moving away from excessive gift-giving as a trauma response and leaning into gift-giving as a tool for healing, authentic connection, and fostering healthy relationships that center generosity, gratitude, and empathy.
I grew up in a culture that values the spiritual nature of psychology and natural science, such as astrology. When you hear astrology, you might think of âpseudoscienceâ (i.e., fake science). Because of how astrology has been marketed and packaged to the masses through things like daily horoscopes in magazines and various media forms, you might think itâs not real. But what astrology is truly concerned with is energy. And from that perspective, itâs essential to pay attention to how energy impacts you, your intuitive knowledge, your personality, and your relationship behavior. Spiritual psychology incorporates this ancient wisdom thatâs four thousand years old by bringing together these cultural, multidimensional, and holistic practices. Today, weâre delving into the connection between nature and your relationship health through exploring and understanding various types of energies. So you can bring more self-awareness into your connections and enrich your romantic relationships.
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