The Wisdom of Trauma

Healing is like going through seasons.

When you’re in a season of pain, it may be hard to see the internal shifts happening leading you to the next season of growth. This is how personal evolution happens. 

We don’t talk enough about post-traumatic growth, wisdom, and the unexpected benefits of healing. I think partly because, as a collective, we have been on a quest to find cures for the trauma we’ve been carrying and the pain that continues to be created from adverse life experiences and events. 

This is to the hopefuls - the ones who engage actively in their healing process and growth journey.

To the ones getting to know themselves anew.

The Choice to Heal

You have the organic ability to heal from trauma when the conditions that support this are present. Sometimes this ability is blocked and/or restricted for various reasons. Therapies, like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Processing), can help you tap into this ability and to release the stuck experience(s). Once this happens, you can remember the experience without reliving it. 

After processing a painful experience, one client said, "I can stop before I answer and speak. It spontaneously happens. It's effortless". Their ability to communicate improved after releasing painful experiences through EMDR. Their statement is a reflection of post-traumatic growth, wisdom, and resilience. This is one of many benefits of trauma treatment: it changes the way your mind works by restoring safety and empowerment. 

You may have an expectation about what your healing should or would look like, especially when you’ve lived with your trauma for so long. You might envision the freedom that comes with recovery. But not the changes to your identity. 

Who are you without trauma hijacking your system, interfering with your life, and shaping your identity and daily experience? When the change you want happens, then what?

In my experience, figuring out who you are post-trauma can be a journey in and of itself. You can feel somewhat lost when your trauma has defined who you are for so long. You might not know who you are, self-doubt can creep in, you may realize you have skills you weren’t aware of, and you may recognize other ones you need to build.

You may even grieve as your relationships shift and change. For someone actively working on your healing, the importance of not pretending anymore will likely increase. Not everyone in your life will know how to deal with that, depending on the pre-existing conditions of those relationships.

How Do You Know If You're on the Right Track? The Five Areas of Post-Traumatic Growth

When you start to heal, the change in your mindset and approach can happen across five areas in your life:

• Personal Strength
• Spiritual Change/Growth
• Appreciation of Life/Gratitude
• Relating to Others
• New Possibilities/ Generating Hope

Personal Strength

• You have a greater feeling of self-reliance.
• You know better that you can handle difficulties.
• You are better able to accept the way things work out. You trust the process.
• You discover that you’re stronger than you thought you were.

Spiritual Growth

• You have a better understanding of spiritual matters.
• You have a stronger religious/spiritual faith.

Gratitude

• You change your priorities about what is important in life.
• You have a greater appreciation for the value of your own life.
• You can better appreciate each day.

Relating to Others

• You see more clearly that you can count on people in times of trouble.
• You better accept needing help. You reach out for support.
• You have a greater sense of closeness with others.
• You are more willing to express your emotions.
• You have more compassion for others.
• You put more effort into your relationships.

Hope

• You develop new interests.
• You establish a new path for your life.
• You’re able to do things differently with your life.
• You’re aware of new opportunities available.
• You’re more likely to try to change things which need changing.

These can all be unfamiliar to you as a result of deciding to sit with your pain long enough to release it. This process allows you to release the expectations and embrace the journey. It would feel effortless to express who you are openly, clearly, and directly. 

This doesn’t mean you won’t stumble. But the stumbling would feel different - because you’re freer with yourself. 

The journey to experience these benefits can have its ups and downs. It doesn’t follow a straight line. But it’s worth it. Because it’s about returning to yourself.

“Finding yourself" is not really how it works. You aren't a ten-dollar bill in last winter's coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people's opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. "Finding yourself" is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you.” - Emily McDowell

As you engage this week in your healing practices, tune in to see how aligned you true nature of becoming.