A New Year's Evolution

Happy New Year, readers! 

Thank you for joining me as we begin this new chapter. I’m glad you’re here. 

The New Year can be both exciting and daunting. It can feel like a fresh start and an opportunity for growth and change. But, at the same time, there can also be immense pressure to set resolutions to “better ourselves” and make significant changes to our lives.

I find the problem with resolutions is that we set goals that are short-term or incredibly hard to achieve. We feel that this change needs to happen immediately for us to succeed and be happy. In reality, the changes and growth we seek cannot happen overnight, and they’re certainly not something that is “one and done” within the first month of the New Year- this should be something we continuously work on year-round!

So, today I want to talk about shifting our mindset from resolution to evolution so that you can make lasting, lifelong, and worthwhile changes in different aspects of your life to be the best version of yourself 365 days of the year.

Shifting from resolution to evolution

I feel that “resolution” is a buzzword at this time of year, along with the “New Year, New Me” mindset. I want to be clear that I’m not knocking motivating yourself to make necessary changes, rather, I’m encouraging you to change how you look at and approach this. As I said, this mentality can create a lot of internal pressure to devise resolutions that are not intentional or do not fit your own schedule, values, or reflection of where you’d like to go on life’s journey. I feel we make resolutions based on what we think we should be doing instead of reflecting on what fits our life. What I’m proposing is adopting an evolution mindset that is flexible to the non-linear nature of our growth and allows us to see the bigger picture- change IS and SHOULD BE constant and not solely in the context of the “New Year” season. 

Goal setting is an effective tool for change and a great place to start, but you might also choose to take a different approach to your New Years’ evolution. For example:

• Creating a list of things you’re looking forward to
• Create a bucket list 
• Choosing to keep a daily gratitude journal
• Choosing a word to guide your year- like joy, growth, excitement 

Keep reading for tips and inspiration on how to set goals in the following domains:

Health & Wellness

In my opinion, this seems to be the most popular target area for change in the New Year. Common goals include: 

• Eating healthier
• Exercising more 
• Losing weight 
• Being “happier and healthier”
• And more!

While these can be great goals (in theory), they are vague and don’t describe how you’ll get there. For example, what does eating healthier actually mean to you? Is it eating more of something, like fruits and vegetables? Is it eating less of something like sweets? Is it having three meals instead of skipping breakfast? Perhaps it’s more awareness or consciousness of the foods you put in your body! Maybe it’s all of the above! But how can you really narrow that down into a concrete, achievable goal?

You might have heard of the “SMART” approach to goal setting before- this is setting goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-oriented. It might seem mechanical and formal, but this is a strategy I use in my own life when trying to change my habits, especially for improving my physical health and wellness! I have been guilty of setting unrealistic goals for myself that require me to go from zero to one hundred quite rapidly. And when I don’t meet these expectations, I feel like a failure and quit altogether. As someone who admittedly exercises minimally, when I was creating my fitness goals I learned it was not reasonable for me to say I’ll start exercising for one to two hours daily starting tomorrow (though I can assure you-I tried!!). Instead, I’ve learned to set smaller goals and work my way up. To start, a more feasible, attainable goal for me was to exercise for thirty minutes two to three times a week for one month, then I increased it from there! The small wins really helped to keep me going; because I set a goal that fit within what I wanted to do and believed I could do instead of what I thought I should do, I found myself less discouraged and more motivated!

Another suggestion I have for you is to think of barriers that might come up that can make achieving your goal more challenging. This way, you will be more equipped to handle them and make necessary shifts when they (inevitably!) come up. Remember- our healing and our journey are not linear! Part of our evolution is learning to give ourselves grace and unlearning the “all or nothing” or “failure” mindset when we are struggling. 

Relationships

Friends, family, co-workers, and more!

One major area I have been reflecting on over the past two years in my relationships is being mindful of who I give my time to and who brings value to my life. I came to the realization that there were some people in my life who depleted my social battery- and never lifted me up. I would leave interactions feeling drained and miserable. It felt like I was constantly giving and never receiving. This is not to say that all relationships will be 50/50 giving and receiving. The reality is, in healthy relationships, sometimes you will need more from people than you can give and vice versa. But in these relationships, there’s a mutual understanding that you can lean on each other in times of need. 

As you reflect on your relationships as part of your New Years’ evolution, here are some questions to ask yourself:

• What qualities do you value in a friend or partner?
• What qualities do your friends or partner value in you?
• What, if anything, would you like more of in your relationships? (For example: quality time, communication)
• How do the people around you add value to your life?
• When you leave interactions with certain people, what is your mood or demeanor like after?

If you’re struggling in your personal relationships, know you’re not alone. Making changes can be difficult, but asking for what you need and asking others what they need from you is a great place to start! This will allow you to show up as your best version of yourself, not just for you but for others as well. 

Spiritual 

Many of us resolve to have deeper internal and external connections on a more spiritual level. Keep in mind that spirituality does not necessarily mean religion. Spirituality is about creating or finding meaning in life and engaging your mind and body. This can look like different things to different people! For example:

• Religion or prayer
• Mindfulness meditation
• Yoga 
• Tai chi 
• And more!

When setting goals that align with where you want to go on your spiritual journey, here are some questions you can ask yourself:

• What are you devoted to?
• What is something you lean on when life gets hard?
• What is an activity you enjoy that brings meaning to your life?
• How (if anyone) would you like to involve in this? Is it something you prefer to do alone, or in the presence of others?

This year, instead of creating resolutions, I challenge you to engage in self-reflection and focus on goals you can achieve that align with lifelong change, personal growth, and evolution. These changes will not, and reasonably should not, happen overnight. Don’t limit yourself to change within the context of the New Year or the first few months of the year. You have 365 days this year (and every year after that!!) to create meaningful change in your life. 

If you feel called to do so this week as you reflect on your personal goals, reach out and share them with me! I’d love to hear from you and bounce ideas off each other. 

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